why politics fail women

I am a woman. This means different things to different people. I love being a woman. I believe strongly in the equality of all. I hate labels. They make people feel like they know me without meeting me.

When I say I advocate for women’s rights, do you get a mental picture of what that looks like? Of course what that looks like to you, and what that looks like to me is probably different. We’ll never know unless we have a honest conversation some day.

kcon_butterfly

Something I’ve learned about love is it doesn’t really sweat the issues. If you & I agree that we’re both valuable, we’re both worthy of respect, then love trumps the issues we disagree about. That’s not to say we need to hide our beliefs and feelings, but even after a conversation with no resolution, we can love one another.

It seems that we’re taking our beliefs too seriously if we insist that we are Right, and anyone disagreeing with us is Wrong.

Maybe I’m just old enough to be humble, but I’ve been wrong about too many things to mention. If you haven’t been wrong about much, either you’re stuck, or you’re young.

 

Being wrong about a lot helps you hold on lightly to your ideals. You realize that in the next 48 hours you might change your mind and do the very thing that once offended you.

Parenting also helps us get a grip on weakness. Either we resist weakness and end up parenting out of control, or we change.

Kids are the best tools for cultivating humility.

kcon_butterfly

I think we’re made to work together. I think the insistence that I must BE like you in order to FIT WITH you is incorrect. We are like puzzle pieces, like bike parts, like body parts…we work best when we contribute our piece and stay connected.

I think humanity could figure things out if we spent less time building walls and more time drinking coffee with the person on the the other side of the wall.

kcon_butterfly

I am a strong woman. On some days I don’t act like it. I love strong men. I love masculine strength. And I love feminine strength. (I know it’s difficult, but try to hear the words “masculine” and “feminine” with freshness, without the baggage.)

When men and women work together, walk together, in the pursuit of respect and honesty and unity–something powerful happens. And believe me, I know, this is difficult. It doesn’t happen very often.

Don’t get hung up on the M and F terms: some of my feminine strength is masculine, and some beautiful, poetic, honest, gut-wrenching power comes from the feminine in masculine strength.

But I still propose: we are made to mix them. My strength is Stronger With Your Strength. A human cocktail of strength.

kcon_butterfly

I advocate for humanity. I believe in women’s rights. For some, that means I believe a woman can end a life inside her body. And you know what, that dilemma, that profound moment, is never easy for a woman.

Does she have what she needs to care for this human?

I believe the moment That Moment of crisis was taken out of women’s lives and placed into the hands of politicians, it fell apart.

Jesus turned the water into wine. Politics turns the water into sewage.

It’s a toxic environment. Politics takes away the context and the humanity. It creates laws to create change. How can we be so far down the road of history (as humans, not Americans) and not realize that Laws Don’t Change People?

kcon_butterfly

God bless the people who have given EVERYTHING to make this world a better place. And where change has taken place, it certainly wasn’t because of laws. It was the people who weren’t willing to leave it alone. They couldn’t. They got off their ass and did something. They believed.

kcon_butterfly

I have seen people professing to be followers of christ do and say terrible things. I think few people have been as tragically misrepresented as jesus. I would probably file a lawsuit if I were him. Good thing I’m not him.

kcon_butterfly

So Women’s Rights in my soul bump into Children’s & Father’s Rights every time. I love them all. How can I possibly decide?

What I do know–women who are pregnant and feel lost should not be told by a politician what their options are. The fact that this issue has become so POLARIZED that women aren’t allowed to have honest, (the raw kind of honest,) and kind, (extremely kind,) conversations with one another, shows how unnatural this fight is.

That unconventional, powerful, risky, sweaty type of working together is the only thing that will make this work. We need one another.

Women’s care and Children’s care in the hands of intelligent, committed, hard-working, loving humans is our only hope. Politicians will never be able to fix this. Politics takes solutions worth fighting for and twists it into a fight with one another. Why are we fighting one another?

Some people scream about girls and women choosing abortion. Other people scream about having freedom to do what they want with their bodies. It’s just Fear. Everyone’s Afraid.

And if we can look away from the politics, which is just a smokescreen, and look at one another: really look, we’ll see ourselves. The problem isn’t laws.

The problem is an anemic society so open to cracks and people falling through, that women regularly find themselves in a situation where they are completely alone. You want to get pissed off about something? Get pissed off about that. That’s what’s wrong.

When a human being is lost and afraid, a law won’t help. We need something more, something with substance: a meal, a shoulder to cry on, a home, a descent wage, a safe place to sleep, an education, a second-third-fourteeth-fiftieth chance, love, hope, identity, a family.

A society that promotes so much loneliness, condemnation, judgement, control, conformity, toxic feminine messages and then forces women to carry a baby when she doesn’t know if she’ll make it through the day…how is that helpful? “I see your load, I see that it’s about to bury you, and I’ll do nothing to help lighten it. In fact, I will stand here in judgement, and force you to pick up another load and carry it as well.”

Here’s an assignment: find a woman who has different beliefs than you. Spend time with her without an agenda of educating or enlightening her. Sit with her with one purpose: to listen. After you’ve listened for more than enough times, (a year or two) adjust the goal to this: to understand.

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