Recently I was introduced to a young guy getting ready to marry. He broke my heart. I smiled and offered my congratulations instead. He has no idea, but he’s not ready.
I am a developer with high intuition. It sounds arrogant, but in many situations I can read someone – I get a vibe or pick up on something I shouldn’t know. I can see pain in people’s eyes, or feel their anger. I sometimes know seconds before someone says something what they’re going to say. I know it’s weird. But I also love the humanity and real of people, so seeing some of their dirt is no big deal to me. Sometimes the change in the atmospheric pressure in public hurts my head, especially when I’m supposed to be interacting with someone, and need to cry from the pain at the table next to me.
But back to the developer — I get people ready. It’s kinda who I am. I love spending time with kids who want to learn. I know it’s not the end of the world for a guy in his twenties to not know what he’s getting into. I didn’t know what I was getting into. But I made it because when crisis hit our marriage, seven years in, we had older friends come to our rescue. And we let them help us.
Statistically, the odds aren’t good for him. Are they still 50/50? And I want to know how the 50% that’s staying together are doing. I’m going to venture many of them aren’t doing so hot, either. I look at him and hope he’ll have older friends when he realizes what a clusterfuck marriage can become and get help. (Everyone! Get help before you think your spouse is a terrible person. Almost everyone waits entirely too long to get help. No one is good at relationships. Including you. Admit that quickly and your marriage might work!)
So I’m a little too informed to join the blind celebration of youthful ignorance getting married. Why can’t we just be honest? Why can’t we prepare them? I’ve heard what a sweet couple they are. Does anyone really believe there’s such a thing? There’s no such thing as a sweet couple. And if they are pretending to be a sweet couple, god have mercy.