sandy & jesus’ greatest hits

offended


For about six months now, I keep tripping over my offense with God. It’s like I get to a good place, and within a couple of days I’m offended again.

I’ve been offended with the way he’s doing things. Sometimes I feel used. I wonder if Mary ever had days when she felt used.

Recently he decided to help me out by reminding me of a few things. It was like Sandy & Jesus’ Greatest Hits.

 

take my heart


The Fragrant Oil CD was released in 1998, and one of my favorite songs, Take My Heart, became my love song for God. I would just kneel and sob.

Here are some slices of the lyrics. They don’t really fit together here, but these are some of favorite parts:

For a long time
I have waited for you
You have won my heart
And I am following

For a long time
I’ve been crying out for you
Tears make my heart soft

Fashioned from
the very fabric of God
at the start of time
set free to decide

take my heart
my mind and strength too
I was made for loving you

I will wait
I’ll be faithful
I was made for loving you

It’s crazy to me that twenty years ago my heart’s cry was “For a long time I’ve been crying out for you…” He helped me see that of course I’m weary. I have been crying out for him, and from a human perspective, it has been a “long time.” Twenty years ago, and countless time in between, I told him I’d wait, and I told him to take my heart.

He remembers it all. I’d forgotten, but he didn’t. To him it seems like last Monday.

 

jesus, mary & joseph


There was a time when I kept reading about Mary and her response to the supernaturally divine invading her space and heart. The angel explained a few things and said: God’s Word will be established, no matter what. Period.

And she replied: I’m yours. I’ll do whatever you want. May all your wildest dreams come true.

During my “Mary Season” God affirmed how I’ve surrendered my hopes, expectations, body, life…to make room for what he wants released in the earth.

My imagination, thoughts, and heart is safe for him to use. I’m a “womb” for his seed. I don’t reject his ideas because they’re impossible or don’t make sense or we don’t have the money. Sacrificing God’s dreams, demanding they be financially or logically sound, is like sacrificing to Baal. I learned to value Mary’s response and follow her.

But my dreaming heart had grown demanding through the years. Revisiting this season caused my heart to soften once again.

 

mr. tight pants


Then he took me to my backyard a few years ago when he first sang Are You Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz to me.

When I heard his invitation, almost immediately I said, “YES!” and almost immediately he said, “You will be persecuted.”

 

song of the lovesick


Then he reminded me of a song from a few years ago. It began with me sitting at the keyboard playing basic chords and singing a scripture.

Then it became a journey and I was following along, simultaneously singing and learning, as things I never knew came out of my mouth.

Eventually it turned into intercession with a cry for unity in the church. I was able to record part of the song, and as I listened to it again, I was blown away by the declarations about the body of Christ living with the heart of Christ.

Some of the lyrics even talk about our heart transplant with encouragement to get ready.

it is time for our heart transplant
get ready
to function with a new heart
get ready
his heart’s beating in you

That was exactly what I needed. It had only been a few years ago, but I didn’t remember. He told me to get ready to function with a new heart. And then he did it.

And I didn’t realize what he was up to, only that my body wasn’t my body, my heart wasn’t my heart, and he seemed to be doing whatever the hell he wanted without considering what I wanted or how I felt. And so naturally I got offended.

Now I’m thankful. His perspective is always worth waiting for. I’m grateful he’s giving me a new heart. I’m actually embarrassed that I’ve been telling him to “take my heart” for twenty years, and when he answers, I get mad at him. But he’s so good to me.

I’m yours. I’ll do whatever you want. May all your wildest dreams come true.

 


pieces of lyrics from the song of the lovesick:

He is showing you what love can do

It is the heart of the lovesick

It is the heart of the lovesick that won’t quit
It is the heart of the lovesick that keeps going no matter the cost

and we keep hoping when there’s no reason to hope
and we keep loving because you love us

your love compels us

your love means that we can’t stop without you

it means that we can’t stop without you

you are our way
you are our truth
you are our life
what do we have apart from you?

so we don’t worry about food
we don’t worry about clothes
we’re on a journey
and it’s yours

you take care of us
you bring everything we need
we don’t have to stop and wonder
we don’t have to stop and gather
everything that we need’s found in you

you are drilling into our hearts
and you are hitting the bottom
the bedrock of our hearts
and you are making it you

take your church
take your bride
take out our heart
that loves ourself

give us a transplant
drill down, deeper into our heart
drill down until the only thing that you find is you
the bedrock of our heart is you

give us your heart
give us your heart
give us your heart

we give you ours
you give us yours
hallelujah!
your church says hallelujah!
your bride says hallelujah
a new heart!
and we will never be separate
we share a heart
we are unified by your heart

we want the same things!
we want what you want!
and you want what we want
we share a heart and it’s yours
and it’s good
we can trust you
we can trust the desires of our hearts
cause you took out our heart and gave us yours

we like the same music
we like the same people
we want to release all of you into the earth
no more corruption
no more blindness
no more ridiculous fighting in the church
no more selfishness
no more filthy rags
white linens! soaked the blood of the lamb

and we get to live our lives with you

we get to be pillars in your temple
we are unified by the same heart

so everywhere the we go you go
so everywhere that you go we go
we are a lovesick bride
we cannot stand to be separated from you

the body of christ with the heart of christ
has anything ever been seen before in the earth?
the body of christ with the heart of christ!
who can imagine?
who can imagine these things?

it is time for our heart transplant
get ready
to function with a new heart
get ready
his heart’s beating in you
get ready to live the way you were meant to live
get ready to live a life you were meant to live
life the way it was meant to be
purposeful liberating life

it’s what you were made for

Jesus Christ being released on the earth
through the church
it’s time!

Come on, Church! it’s time!
Quit messing around
Those ridiculous toys, just put them down
they will never satisfy you
they will never multiply you

It’s not who you are
It’s not what you’re made for

Jesus Christ dwells in you
He is life and hope and peace
and he is giving you everything you need

he bought it all on the cross
and it’s been waiting for you
take it now, take it now, take it now, take it now…

it is the greatest gift you can ever receive
it washes away generational iniquity
it gives your life purpose and hope and meaning
it satisfies you all the days of your life
it cleanses your conscious from dead works
it divides between soul and spirit
gives you clarity
gives you one mind, instead of two and three and four and five
one mind, one mind…

the bride of Christ has one mind
it gives you freedom
you don’t look at other lovers
you don’t look at mammon for salvation
you don’t look at food or your job or your husband or that guy

you don’t look in the mirror
you don’t look at your car
you don’t look at what people think of you
or who despises you
you don’t look at your family or your childhood
or what you think you lost

this gift is for you, bride
this gift is for you!
and he’s already given you everything
what more could he possibly bring?

why do we need a wedding gift?
we have you!
what more could we possibly need?
we have you!

what’s in the box?
it’s our future!
and it is full
the future of the church can’t be contained in a box
it’s overflowing
spilling out everywhere
the future of the church is our wedding gift
it’s your future
and it is good

we will spend ourselves in your name
and nothing will ever be the same

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