make god happy

I’ve been on fire lately, so I decided to channel some of my physical feistiness into a more wholesome pursuit and see if Jesus would make out with me. I went to a building to adore him with other wholehearted lovers and music.

When I entered the room, I felt the pressure. The pressure in the room was the opposite of rest. It was a pressure to Do Something. I walked around for a while to see if I could find any pockets where God was hanging out. I enjoyed the space by a lady who was loving god with her dance. She was releasing ribbons of joy, swooshing around her, so I hung out there. She definitely had something.

God encouraged me by telling me I was shifting the room just by being there.

Then he told me to lie down under the table against the wall.

And I’m like Figures. I never get to go places and just go with the flow.

But lying on the floor was so nice. I entered rest immediately. The vibrations from the music traveled through the floor to my chest. I felt the table was symbolic, not to mention just obedience releasing good smells god enjoys, so it wasn’t bad.

But as I was lying under the table, someone began talking into the microphone. They sensed a shift in the room. They wanted God to be happy with us. “Who wants God to be happy with them?” (cheers and clapping)

And I’m thinking, God’s already happy with us because of Jesus.

Then he said our extravagant worship was what God wanted. And I know, the word “worship” is a tricky one. I’m lying on the ground, knowing the war I’m in, thinking of my extravagant worship. I let God cut my chest open and give me a new heart. I’m fucking burning alive and He Likes It. That’s my extravagant worship.

But in this context, it means take it up a notch.

The people who were sitting stood.

The people who were standing raised their hands.

The people who were raising their hands danced.

The people who were dancing kneeled.

I didn’t see this happen. I only saw the result. When I looked out at the room, I thought nothing of Extravagance. I thought of Sameness. I think a room full of people should have a room full of different expressions. Why only four choices? Why is the worship confined to this moment in this room? If he wants extravagant worship, let’s find out what that looks like!

I also felt the burden of the weary around me. One family is in great need. They need hope and encouragement and money. They’re dancing their asses off with hearts of gold, hoping to make God happy, and they need someone to care for them. They need someone to say, “What do you need?” And then send them home with some money and food and wine and bubbles for a bubble bath and phone numbers of some people to call when they’re late paying their bills or need to talk.

I left and got distracted walking to the car by these bold and confident trees surrounding an open space. They were old. They wanted to give me something.

I walked out into the middle of the field, and the trees were supplying, and the breeze picked up, and the sky was enormous, light blue, no clouds.

I smiled deeply and said, “Oh, here you are.”

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2 thoughts on “make god happy

  1. Woah. Geez. Yeah, he’s definitely in this too. Thanks for strumming my heart chords this morning. I love what dad said, too, spot on. You’re amazing.

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